


Bend Before the Break

by babytobin_horse



Series: Nightingale [3]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babytobin_horse/pseuds/babytobin_horse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is slowing recovering, but a national team camp might end up speeding the process...or make it worse.</p><p>(3/4 of Nightingale Series)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bend Before the Break

**Author's Note:**

> VERY loosely based on Without the Love by Demi Lovato https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tn-UK953aIU
> 
> I decided to continue this series with two more parts, so I hope you enjoy.

The past two months had been better, but not great. The zombie trance Alex was once in had disappeared. Somehow she’d gotten her act together and began to return to her normal self again. It was nowhere near the person she used to be, but it was an improvement and all her friends noticed. She was going out with friends, leaving her house more often. Life was slowly being brought back to the young woman, but there was still an ache in her heart that never seemed to be fixed. It seemed to expand as time went on and there were no calls or messages, no tweets or texts. It was silence on the other end, well maybe both ends because Alex didn’t bother to try either.

It didn’t really help that there was talk amongst teammates and colleagues that Tobin was possibly in a relationship with someone else. Some French girl, apparently. She played for Pinoe’s club or something. It wasn’t like Alex asked around, she just picked up on information she’d hear here and there, and from information Kelley was always giving her. But how was Alex supposed to compete with a French girl? Now Tobin was never going to return, and that thought scared her so much.

With only weeks left before the return of the NWSL season, Alex was excited. To return to Portland would mean Tobin might return as well. The midfielder’s contract with PSG was good enough for only a year, and then she’d return like she did last summer and play with the Thorns. She’d waited for Tobin just like she promised. Just a few more months of waiting and she’d be home free. But before the kick-off of the second NWSL season, there was a match to be played as a national team. Of course, Alex had gotten called up. But Sermanni hadn’t released the rest of the list yet, no matter how often Alex checked her email. Since she was spending the weekend in LA, she decided to meet up with Kelley in San Francisco to cruise around food trucks.

“I haven’t had these in forever,” Alex sighed happily as she took a bite into a fish taco fresh from the truck they were walking away from. “Mmm, so good.”

Kelley laughed after swallowing down her own bite. “Yeah, it’s been awhile since you’ve been in the area for some down time.”

The two settled down at a table not too far away and ate their fish tacos as they caught up, Kelley careful to speak only on light topics. Though she was glad her friend was doing much better now, she was afraid one little word would be able to trigger emotions that she was convinced Alex had just pushed down. She already knew a trigger word. And it started with a T.

Just as Alex was babbling on about the coming NWSL season, Kelley’s phone chimed, signaling she’d just received an email. She figured she’d probably just check it later, but then something in the back of her mind nagged her, so she picked up her phone. Her eyebrows raised when she noticed the email was from Tom Sermanni and her curiosity got the better of her when she read the word “roster” in the subject line. Her eyes scanned the list, then froze on one name in particular.

Alex, who had still been talking, noticed Kelley’s sudden expression and frowned. “Kel? You okay there?”

It took the freckled woman a moment to respond. “Uh..yeah, I just got the roster.”

Now it was Alex’s eyebrows that shot up. “Who’s on it?”

“Check your email,” Kelley shrugged, attempting to put her phone away.

“Come on Kelley,” the forward sighed, reaching out for the phone.

The look on her face was one Kelley couldn’t say no to. She knew why Alex wanted to see the list. Alex wanted to see if Tobin was coming. It wasn’t a FIFA-sanctioned date so it was completely up to PSG to decide if they wanted to let her go, and even though Alex was getting better, Kelley could tell she still cared. Reluctantly, she handed the phone over and watched Alex look at the screen intently, probably not even bothering to read the Goalkeepers and defenders on the list.

Alex’s eyes skimmed over words and names that didn’t matter to her. There was only one name she needed to see. And when she found it, she held her breath. _Tobin Heath._ She stared at the name for the next couple of seconds while emotions ran through her. At first she was excited, she’d see the one person who meant the most to her for the first time in months. Then, she got nervous...it’d been months since Tobin had talked to her. Lastly, a feeling in her stomach formed as she remembered the whispers and information about Tobin and the French girl. Real or not, they still made Alex sick.

“She’s coming,” the forward said quietly, her blue eyes still glued to the screen, to that one name.

Kelley nodded. “She is. Do you want to tell Tom not to room you with her?”

Alex shook her head immediately snapping her head up. “No!” she exclaimed, handing the phone back. “That makes me sound immature. Plus, what are the odds I’d be paired up with her? We’ve only ever roomed together a couple of times.”

She made it sound like it was no big deal, but she really really hoped she wasn’t rooming with Tobin. She wasn’t sure she could handle all of that hitting her in the face. But there was a small spark of hope that she would room with Tobin. A small hope that things would work out somehow - by a miracle. Only time could tell.

 

-

 

She was supposed to arrive at her hotel two hours ago. That obviously didn’t happen. For some reason, Alex had decided to agree to an interview the morning before she left for camp, but the interview had gone on too long and now she was running late. She’d sent a text to Dawn, explaining the situation and had gotten a reply back just as she boarded the plane. The trainer said it was okay, and gave her the room number she’d be in for the week.

Sighing, Alex leaned her head on the window of the cab as she watched the buildings speed by. An unsettling mix of emotions were coursing all through her body now and she knew this wasn’t because of the friendly. It was because of who was going to be at camp. Being in the back of a cab for half an hour really gave time to think, and that’s all Alex did. And all she thought about was Tobin. And occasionally that French girl. Or that French girl _with_ Tobin. Those thoughts plagued her like no other and she barely mumbled a “thanks” to the cab driver as she gave him his payment and got out of the cab with her belongings.

When the elevator reached the correct floor, it occurred to Alex that Dawn didn’t tell her who she was rooming with. _Well, looks like I’ll find out now_ she thought as she slowly strolled down the hall until she found her room number. Dropping a bag to the floor, she slid in her room card and opened the door. Looking into the room, she saw someone’s belongings already there. There weren’t many of them, but it was enough to tell that someone had already been there. Alex’s eyes traveled to the bed, and her heart stopped.

“Hey, you’re finally here.”

An easy smile. _Her_ easy smile. Her skin wasn’t as tan as she remembered, but then again, Paris wasn’t known for giving off cruel sunlight.

There was Tobin sitting on the bed with her phone in her hand, smiling at Alex just like she used to. Just like she hadn’t left her.

“Hey Tobin,” the forward croaked out, still in shock.

Tobin immediately got up, tossing her phone onto the bed and made her way over, pulling Alex into a tight hug. At first Alex didn’t react, but after a moment she dropped her other bag and hugged Tobin back tightly. She inhaled her scent - the ocean breeze. It had become one of Alex’s favorite scents soon after she’d met the older girl.

“I missed you,” the older one whispered into Alex’s skin, causing goosebumps to appear out of nowhere.

The forward let out a sigh, closing her eyes. This was what she’d wanted for so months now. This was where she wanted to be. “I missed you too.”

 

By dinner time, Alex and Tobin were joined at the hip, not once leaving their hotel room. They seemed to be able to talk as if months hadn’t passed by. As if Tobin never left. As if Alex didn’t spent most nights crying. The whole ‘Tobin and French Girl’ topic was never brought up, which caused relief and confusion towards Alex, unsure if it was a good or a bad sign. She kept her mouth shut though, afraid that if she did bring it up, bad news would come to her.

Everyone could tell Alex was a completely different person than she had been recently as soon as she step foot in the room. And they all knew it had to do with the person by her side. Though they were all unsure of what to make of it, they all knew if they were getting along, it would mean good chemistry on the field. Dinner went smoothly enough, no one asked questions and Alex was completely captivated by Tobin’s presence. Kelley was ready to question her friend who had been MIA lately, but decided to let it play out for another day. Perhaps reality would settle in tomorrow night, after a day of practice.

 

The following morning, Alex woke to her alarm and a cool breeze in her direction. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw on the nightstand was a warm cup of coffee with steam still emerging. She sat up slowly, stretching her arms before taking the cup in her hands and turning to face Tobin’s bed. The midfielder sat sit, her own cup in her hands, looking out the opened window.

“Morning,” Alex said softly, sipping a bit of her warm beverage.

“Good morning Lex,” Tobin replied, not turning around. It was almost silly how hearing Tobin say the three letter nickname could still send shivers down Alex’s spine.

With her cup in one hand, Alex slowly crawled out of her bed, leaving her sheets a mess, and placed herself next to Tobin, their shoulders touching. “It feels nice today.”’

The midfielder nodded in approval. “Very. How did you sleep?”

“Not too bad.”

“Good. I was hoping our conversation didn’t take away too much sleep.” Tobin smiled.

Last night the two had spent hours just talking, and at one point holding each other. Alex was craving every sense of Tobin. She missed her too much and now she wasn’t sure what this meant for them, but she was enjoying it anyway.

Tobin rested her head on Alex’s shoulder and the forward found comfort in being those close to her again. A phone chimed and Alex knew it wasn’t hers.

“Aren’t you going to check your new message?” she asked after waiting for a moment for Tobin to get it.

The older girl shrugged, lifting her head from Alex’s shoulder, leaving the place that had been warm a second ago cold as the breeze went by. “Probably just a friend from France.”

At the sound of this, Alex’s chest tightened for a moment with the thought of it being the girl Tobin was somehow linked to lately. What if it was her?

“Come on,” Tobin nudged her, hopping off the bed. “Let’s go get some breakfast and get ready for practice.” She offered a hand to Alex and gave her a signature smile.

Alex took her hand, lifting herself off of the bed and was comforted when Tobin’s hand left hers so her arm could wrap around the younger girl’s back.

Alex Morgan was completely entranced by Tobin. Some teammates decided this was arguably worse than when the two were together. Tobin was just being herself, goofy and calm and ready to train. Alex was more energized, more focused, more willing to do anything with the midfielder in her presence. There was a light in her eyes that all her friends had sorely missed in the months leading up to this, but now that it was back, it seemed the team was coming together once again. When Tobin flirted with Alex, the striker flirted back without hesitation. When Tobin too her hand, Alex squeezed gently. When Tobin held her close, Alex melted completely. It was like they were falling back into the same pattern, and Alex tried not to think about how they only had the remainder of the week.

 

“So...are they dating again?” Sydney asked her teammates at her table, her eyes trained on the two on the other side of the room.

Kristie shrugged in response. “The last time I saw Alex like this was when they were together, so I mean it’s possible.”

“Wait, what about the other girl? The one in Pinoe’s club?” Ali asked curiously, twisting her hair around her index finger.

Kelley frowned. “I don’t like this.”

Sydney nodded slowly, her gaze shifting the defender next to her. “I’m with you, Kel. This is weird. I mean, I love them together, but...Tobin left her. She wanted her to move on. She’s been spending time with some French girl. Why does she decide to come back and act like she’s in love again?”

“What if she isn’t acting?” Kristie cut in, raising an eyebrow. “You know how much those two loved each other before.”

“The difference is,” Kelley spoke again. “Alex never stopped loving Tobin. You all know it. You’ve seen her. She’s been a walking wreck for months.”

Ali sighed, shaking her head. “Let them be, guys. They’ll only work this out if no one else tries to do it for them.”

 

As Alex exited the bathroom one night, she spotted Tobin on her bed, busily typing away on her phone. “Who are you talking to?”  She tossed the towel she was using to dry her hair aside.

“Amandine,” Tobin answered, her eyes still on her phone.

Alex thought for a moment. The name sounded familiar. “Who?”

“Oh, she plays for Olympique Lyonnais,” the older girl explained as she smiled a little. Her eyes never lifted to Alex’s. “You know, Pinoe’s club.”

The forward’s heart stopped for a quick second as she connected the dots. This was the girl everyone was linking Tobin to. “Oh,” she said casually, attempting to play it off. “You guys are friends?”

“Yeah,” Tobin lifted a shoulder, putting her phone aside as she finally looked up at Alex. “She’s cool.” Tobin was never one with words, but Alex needed more than what she was getting from her.

“Obviously she is if she’s hanging out with you,” Alex teased, giving a half hearted smile.

The midfielder grinned, patting the spot next to her. “Come here.” The younger one made her way over without any hesitation, finding her spot right next to Tobin. Tobin’s arm immediately went around the younger girl, pulling her a little closer. “It’s good to be with you again, you know?”

Alex nodded. “You have no idea.”

“Oh, but I do,” Tobin smiled. “Come on, we’re in for a long day of tourist-y things tomorrow. Let’s go to bed.”

The striker had to hide the frown that wanted to appear on her lips. “Okay,” she said reluctantly, beginning to leave Tobin’s side, but then was tugged back. “What?”

“Stay with me tonight.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“Alright.”

Alex crawled in under the sheets with Tobin, her body tense. She wasn’t sure what this meant, if it meant anything at all, but was more than willing to go along with it. They’d done it before they were dating, so why should now be any different? After Tobin turned off the lights, her arms wrapped around Alex’s middle and she rested her head on Alex’s shoulder. Though it had been awhile, Alex still knew the nooks and crannies of Tobin’s body like it was her own. As the older girl’s breathing evened out, Alex didn’t stop the smile that was spreading on her face. It felt like she was slowly getting Tobin back again. Maybe it’d be enough to make her stay.

 

-

 

After spending their tourist day with Tobin, Alex, Lauren and Yael, Kelley couldn’t decide whether she wanted throw up or slap Alex and Tobin...or both. Alex and Tobin hadn’t separated at all throughout the whole day. As if that wasn’t enough, they was always some form of physical contact: holding hands, hugs, arm around the other. Kelley would’ve thought this was sweet, but she knew better. She knew Tobin better. Tobin had been talking about a girl back in Paris. She seemed interested, but - being who she was - wasn’t willing to make a move. She liked enjoying the time she had and not stressing herself out with details. That aspect of Tobin had been one to drive Alex insane when they had first became more than just best friends. And Kelley could see it now. When the five of them had arrived at the hotel, she quickly grabbed Tobin’s arm pulling her aside.

“Ow! Kel!” Tobin whined, wriggling her arm out of Kelley’s grasp.

“We need to talk,” Kelley said sternly, but quietly.

The midfielder looked up to see Alex a few feet ahead of them, motioning for her to go ahead. “I’ll be there in a few minutes!” Once Alex was out of sight, Tobin looked at her little friend, frowning. “Everything okay?”

Kelley scoffed, willing herself not to smack her friend. “No, Tobin, everything is not okay! What is going on between you and Alex?!”

The taller girl shrugged nonchalantly. “Dunno dude. I’m happy to see her again.”

“What happened to Amandine?” Kelley asked. “Remember her?”

“Of course I do,” Tobin answered calmly. “She’s doing good. She wants to take me out to dinner when I’m back in France.”

Kelley gaped at her. “Tobin! What the hell?!”

“What?”

“Don’t play with Alex like this! She hasn’t look anywhere near this good in months. She misses you so much and she still loves you.”

“I’m sure she’s gone on dates.”

Kelley shakes her head. “For her, you’re the only option. If you’re just going to leave again please just stop whatever you’re doing.”

“I miss her,” Tobin said, her voice softening. “It feels so good to hold her again.”

“You’re better than this Tobin,” the defender reminded her; her voice gave off a serious warning tone. “Don’t do something stupid.”

 

-

 

“Have you decided about coming back to the Thorns?” Alex asked the following evening as she bounced a little on Tobin’s bed.

Tobin’s eyes were focused on her phone with her fingers flying. It took her a moment before she responded, “Hmm...not yet. Maybe soon. I’m still undecided.”

The answer was a bit disappointing to Alex. She believed that after the week they had together it would be a definite yes. “Oh, okay..”

The older girl noticed the deflation of Alex’s voice, and tossed her phone aside. “I’ll figure it out soon,” she told her before kissing her forehead. “I’m going to shower and then we’ll go to sleep okay? Great game today, baby horse. I miss playing with you,” she winked.

“Thanks, you too” Alex smiled, feeling Tobin’s slightly chapped lips brush against her forehead. It sent a warm feeling down her spine. She watched Tobin walk away, a smile still on her face. She heard Tobin’s phone beep, and with her curiosity getting the best of her, she peeked at the message.

 

**Bien! Can’t wait to take you out when you come back x**

 

It was from Amandine.

She dropped the phone like it had burned her and quickly jumped to her bed, crawling under the sheets. She willed herself not to cry, hoping she’d fall asleep before Tobin returned.

 

The next morning, Alex woke up to find Tobin already gone. She must’ve had a really early flight. Slowly, she sat up, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

 _She played me_ , Alex realized, tears stinging her eyes

Everything that happened that week was purely for Tobin’s enjoyment. It hadn’t meant anything serious.

She didn’t stop the tears from falling, or the sobs from racking her body.

And she didn't even say goodbye.


End file.
